Dating someone who isn’t a people person?
Forget about the stress of crowded concerts, busy restaurants and large parties. Dating an introvert means seeking out quieter, more secluded spaces to spend your special time together. We’ve researched the most isolated, magical places on earth (and beyond) for you and your significant other to escape the human noise of the everyday.
1. That Red Dot on Jupiter
The universe’s hottest hot tub is located right in the high pressure region of the gas giant we all know and love- Jupiter. You won’t find water winged toddlers splashing you with overly chlorinated water in this circulating pool of ammonium hydrosulfide. In fact, the closest humans will be 588 million kilometers away.
Getting there: Chartered spaceship
Where to stay: Callisto B&B on Jupiter’s 4th moon has an atmosphere to die for
2. Barrow, Alaska
Roads? Where you’re going, you don’t need roads. Which is perfect because there are none that lead to Barrow. When the sun sets here in late November, it doesn’t rise again for 65 more days. So you won’t even see the grizzly bears surrounding your tent.
Getting there: Beats us.
Where to stay: Tent?
3. The blighted strip mall on the other side of town
There’s nothing more edgy and romantic than the sound of plastic bag tumbleweed and the moaning of the ghosts of bargain shoppings past. Well off the beaten path and located in nearly every city, these pillars of urban decay top our list for most decrepit locales to sit and reflect on the improvidence of humankind.
Getting there: The 32 to the 54a to the 500 to the NL to the 30x
Where to stay: The parking lot
4. 36°33’53’’S 124°05’57’’W
Known for its salt concentration and wetness, the remoteness of these very specific Pacific Ocean coordinates is breathtaking. Nothing but water, tiny crustaceans and your thoughts. Oh and your partner. But we understand if you’re not a people person either.
Getting there: Cruise line that specializes in shipwrecks
Where to stay: On whatever will float
5. Third Ring of Saturn
Pick your favorite of the countless small particles made almost entirely of ice, rock and water. Not only will you have 40,800 miles of play space without a soul around but the rings aren’t even visible from earth without a telescope. Mind the gap though- tripping between the rings could send you hurtling through the unforgiving, bottomless, oxygen-free black hole is outer space.
Getting there: Industrial strength catapult
Where to stay: Motel 6,000 light years away
6. Freezer section of the grocery store on the coldest day of the year
You won’t find a soul in the frozen corn dog section when the wind chill is -15 degrees. Just don’t forget your parka and earmuffs and starter log in case you want to cook up some tv dinners or frozen peas together in aisle 5. Nothing brings people together more than good food and shared discomfort.
Getting there: Your old Honda Civic with the broken heater
Where to stay: Aisle 5
7. A dark closet
Closets are dark and although they may be filled with inanimate objects, we can guarantee there won’t be another person in sight. Walk-in closets provide the most spacious, secluded getaways although pantries and janitor’s closets are largely underrated. Dressing rooms at large department stores are a solid alternative if the aforementioned destinations are unavailable.
Getting there: Left at the bathroom, right at the alarm clock
Where to stay: Your favorite corner
8. The North Pole
This red and white barber shop pole exists at the center of the northern hemisphere and can’t wait to be in a selfie with you and your significant other. Watch out for a big delusional man in a red suit who may try to photobomb.
Getting there: Sleigh rides are available in peak season
Where to stay: The Northern area with ice
9. The South Pole
Nearly identical to its northern cousin, the South Pole is just as remote and solitary, albeit completely upside down. Empty your pockets before travelling south or you’ll lose your gum wrappers and pennies forever.
Getting there: Snowshoes maybe?
Where to stay: Royal Penguin Spa and Resort
10. Your Innermost Thoughts
Letting your significant other in may be hard but we guarantee the two of you won’t find another soul in the endless maze of your musings and secrets. You two can daydream away on a deserted island or hop from star to star.
Getting there: Only you know how.
Where to stay: Hidden.
So forget about the social stigma of introversion
…and carpe diem with your significant other. Dating an introvert can be an adventure- and take you to places you never knew existed. Just be sure to book early to beat the crowds and always leave a trail of breadcrumbs in your wake.