It’s the time of year most commonly characterized by falling leaves, pumpkin spice, and heavy bags full of candy and the inevitable promise of tooth decay. But before you embark on a journey around your neighborhood in search of tricks and/or treats, we’ve prepared 9 practical means of managing your Halloween mischief that go beyond lugging an obscene amount of fun-size Snickers while dressed like a weird homemade Darth Vader.
1. Your Apocalypse Survival Kit
Contents should include: bandages, multi-purpose knife, some energy bars, rope, and raw slabs of meat for diverting zombies. Redbubble doesn’t do print-on-demand zombie-slaying machetes yet, but just you wait. Just. You. Wait.
2. Heads are Heavy
In case you come across a decapitated head while wandering Sleepy Hollow, now you know that the medium-sized tote bag is the ideal size for carrying it.
3. Bandage Back-Up
Don’t let yourself unravel just when you have a surprise encounter with your ex. Sure, it might’ve been 9,473 years since the breakup, but hey, never be unprepared to look your most fabulous.
4. Trust the Sight
If your third eye is strong, you’ll already know that you need this bag for the safekeeping of your crystal ball, tarot cards, and creepiness-credibility shawl to have handy at your next reading. Take that as a good omen.
4. Stakes, Don’t Leave Home Without ’em
You weren’t just going to haul around an armload of wooden stakes, were you? Avoid splinters and stay on top of your vampire-slaying game with this stake-totin’ swag bag.
5. Spare Parts
If you’re a skeleton, you’re well aware of those pesky toe bones that are constantly falling off and getting stuck in gooey, muddy graveyards. Keep a couple of extras in here, and maybe a pair of galoshes if you’re a smart (and fashionable) skeleton.
6. Going GORE-cery Shopping?
Jars of newt eyes and bundled rat tails can get really heavy. Haul your everyday potion ingredients in this eco-friendly, reusable market bag.
7. Underground Adven(terror)ing
Exploring the catacombs can really suck if you forget a bottle of water, a mat for taking a rest, and some anti-anxiety medication after an entire horde of rats unexpectedly crashes down over your head.
8. Bye, Boo!
We promised more than totes for trick-or-treating, so here’s a last practical suggestion: our patented* Scaredy Cat Solution! Simply tug the tote bag over your head and block out all the creepy crawlies, ghosts, and ghoulies you’ll inevitably face this Halloween. Made especially for the faint of heart.
*Not actually patented, but we need you to take us seriously on this one.